Failure of the Day: Relativity

So, you have to laugh that I consider a 15-day, full-body, itchy rash an avoidance of a medical catastrophe. It’s all relative, dontcha know.

But I am happily all one color again and I have finally stopped smelling like camphor and oatmeal so things are on the upswing. It has also been 52 days since I have had a cigarette, not counting 1.5 herbal monstrosities during week 3 and two angry puffs of a Doral Light behind a gas station in Oakland, which is a long story and not very flattering and anyway, the point is it tasted totally gross and I threw the rest away so it doesn’t count.

I still really want a cigarette and I often while away the afternoons thinking up dreamy scenarios in which the world is going to be destroyed in two years and everybody’s going to die anyway, so I get to start smoking again because, really, what’s the point?

In truth, I’m doing ok. It won’t be long now before I can return phone calls and emails and be a regular communicative person again, at least to the whatever extent I ever was one.