Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Failure of the Day: High Summer

Ahh, that rarest of all things, the paid day off. I lounge. I recreate. I shop for things I need for the cruise.

Yes, the cruise. That other rarest of all things, the paid vacation. Employment is grand. We’re taking the week of the 17th off and going on a 4-night cruise to Mexico (although I doubt very seriously whether we will leave the boat even once) and then spending 21–22 in LA. So I am in a frenzy of preparation that began two weeks ago when I realized that neither of us owns so much as a single suitcase. Luckily, I found these on my very first “lime green luggage” google search.

Preparations continued with a marathon dental appointment on Friday (it sucked, but dude kicked down some nice pain meds), and this weekend, I colored my hair and bought a little black dress (don’t even think I spent that much—it was half-off at the AK outlet store) for the fancy night I’m told they always have on the floating geriatric boogaloo.

Most of what I have left to do is in the realm of, well, personal grooming. To put too fine a point on it, I have hair on my legs, and I want it to go away and stay away the whole time I am on vacation. That doesn't seem like so much to ask, does it? I began exploring my options, and I have to say I am not happy with any of them. After some research, here’s what I discovered:

shaving = time-consuming + frequent
waxing = time-consuming + expensive + painful
epilating = time-consuming + not effective + painful
electrolysis = time-consuming + expensive + painful + kind of freaky

So I am at a bit of an impasse. I had my eyebrows waxed once, during Girlification Weekend ’98, but otherwise, I’ve never waxed anything. The epilator gave me a rash. Electrolysis seemed like a good idea until I read a description of it, and then… nope. Not gonna happen. The math alone shows that shaving is the lesser of the evils, but I’m not sure a slick, wet bathtub is the best place to be playing with knives.

So I think waxing is emerging as the winner by merit of the fact that I’ve never tried it anywhere big before, and I don’t really know what I’m in for. If anyone out there has any waxing horror stories, please let me know by the 15th. I've made my decision based on not knowing better, so keep a kind thought for my legs.


  • At July 05, 2006 10:06 PM, Anonymous Melissa Eller said…

    You forgot the lasers, baby!

  • At July 06, 2006 6:31 AM, Blogger Nancy said…

    wait... really? There are lasers? Tell me more about your hair removal ways of the future!

  • At July 06, 2006 9:08 PM, Anonymous Melissa Eller said…

    Yes, there are lasers! I work next door to one such place called "Urban Allure". It's best to be pale with dark hair, and it takes multiple sessions as does electrolysis, but unlike that one-follicle-at-a-time torture, they do broad swaths of skin at once. I haven't sprung for it yet, as I'm going in debt for my teeth right now (Invisalign). I will the best teeth in debtors' prison.
    Here's a FAQ from Urban Allure: http://www.urbanalluresf.com/FrequentlyAskedQuestions.htm

  • At July 07, 2006 11:53 AM, Blogger Nancy said…

    Wow, thanks! And talk about debtors' prison…$400 per session for lower legs, 4-7 sessions needed on average! Yikes! Pale skin and dark hair I've got, but 2 grand for my stubby little legs, not so much. It’s enough to make a person go all Hippie.

    Are you back in the City? It’s so nice to hear from you… do you still have the same e-mail? Drop me a line or let me know…it’d be nice to catch up with you!


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