Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Failure of the Day: Off

I have to say, I’ve just about had it with people who kill themselves with my commute. This morning was number five for the year and it’s only April. Technically, I think only four of them were purposeful suicides…the one before last was just someone who had wandered into the path of an oncoming locomotive by virtue of apparently having no central nervous system whatsoever. I can’t comprehend the level of difficulty involved in being hit by a train by accident. They are deafeningly loud and so large that their approach shakes the ground hard enough to make rocks the size of my fists bounce like jumping beans.

I have no issue with folks who want to kill themselves—hey, knock yourselves out—but if you really need to throw yourself in front of a train, could you not do it at rush hour? There are trains at noon, too, you know, and they go just as fast between stops as the bullet does.

On the plus side, not being able to go into work today meant that our plan of finding a way to work from home occasionally would be put to its first test. So far, it’s working out nicely, although I would much rather have gone into the office today. Chris is in Reno at a conference until Saturday, and being cooped up alone all day was what drove me out of full-time telecommuting to begin with. Good thing I have dinner plans tonight or I’d be back to the full-scale psychosis that comes from a complete lack of human interaction.

In the meantime, tell your friends and neighbors: suicide between noon and 3 only, please. I'm sorry you hate your life, but ruining my commute won't solve anything.


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