Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Failure of the Day: Travel (apologies to Jeff)

In my never-ending quest to add to my roster of clients and possibly work myself to death, I sent this off today to a posting for a travel editor I saw on the Gawker.

I hate traveling. Oh, there’s a good idea: let’s pay a week’s rent per night to sleep on a mattress that, if you saw it at home, you wouldn’t get close enough to poke it with a stick. And what kind of authentic cultural experience do you think you can get in six days and five nights? This kind: My friend went to Prague and immediately found a video game arcade where he spent the day dodging an 11 year old prostitute and her menacing 13 year old pimp. Traveling sucks. It’s uncomfortable, inconvenient, expensive, and almost always anti-climactic.

You know what’s nice? Not wondering if I’m taking my life in my hands if I order the shellfish. You know where I can do that? At HOME.

Seems to me that there had better be something pretty fucking great about a place if I’m going to put up with all that crap. Yeah yeah yeah, you saw Big Ben/the Grand Canyon/the Great Wall or some other thing they have to convince you is impressive by using a variation of the word “large” in its name. It’s all just rocks in some shape or another.

Here’s what’s missing in the travel world: What makes it worth the trouble? What makes it worth the head lice and dysentery and constant need to apologize for your country’s foreign policy? If an article can convince me it's worth it, you might have a winner.

Nancy Depper
Freelance editor

What do you think...will they hire me?


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