Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Failure of the Day: Hospital Horror Movie Whore

Probably, Kingdom Hospital is not very good. The reviews are all pretty bad, even the ones written by women my age who remember Andrew McCarthy’s lower lip very, very well from 1986. So probably, it’s dumb. You know, most likely.

I myself am in no position to say, because even though it will certainly focus on the whole not scary “haunted” thing for the remainder of its run, the first episode not only placed the embodiment of evil squarely in the person of the chief neurologist (talk about “you had me at hello”!) but it was the very first time they showed an MRI on TV with enough accuracy to finally include the fucking cage they put your head in.

Given that, I totally loved it, even the talking aardvark. (Even the talking aardvark! How many times do you get to type that?) I loved how the neurologist was a DICK in the OR but was not so bad or at least wore some decency on his face for that pesky pain in the ass part of his job known as “human interaction,” and I loved how everyone went around surreptitiously placing Kleenex boxes everywhere. Because your loved one is a vegetable but you shouldn’t have to suffer a runny nose.

I’m sure it’ll all be downhill from here (although downhill from a talking aardvark is kind of a funny notion) and we’re headed right to howling ghosts and muddy skeletons and bloody eyed dead children, but I’ll watch. I’ll watch because I’m happy to pay for last week’s episode even if the price is 14 weeks of what will almost certainly be called Boredom Hospital by some intrepid reviewer before too long. And also because they moved it to 10 PM so it doesn’t interfere with my beloved OC. And OK, also because of Andrew McCarthy’s lower lip.
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