Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Failure of the Day: Beeeeeeeeeeyond the Rim of Starlight

Chris (now a full-fledged blogging maniac) just wrote the definitive eulogy for his beloved Treks. I encourage you to not dawdle here; just go straight to his blog—it’s much funnier than this one.

For what it’s worth, I found Enterprise largely unwatchable. The communal shower scenes alone did me in. Because, you know what I don’t need? Hot naked Vulcans, that’s what. I also never stopped being pissed at Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap because that show didn’t have a single damn thing to do with Schrödinger’s cat or photons that sometimes act like particles and other times act like waves or anything. (And come to think of it, I’m still mad at Keanu Reeves too, because his movie The Replacements is never about what I want it to be about either.)

I’ve considered being worked up about the pending lack of Trek but I don’t think I’ve got it in me. I loved the original series as a tot, and I really liked Next Generation but my interest fell precipitously during its run and did not recover for Deep Space 9 or Voyager. I think I might still be mad that the openly gay crew member never materialized—and jeez, don’t I have a lot of cinematic grudges all of a sudden?—but more likely it’s that they made the mistake at some point of showing the 24th century outside the scope of life in the Federation, and wow, it looked great! WAY better than the militaristic, one-fucken-alien-or-another-always-wants-to-kill-you rigmarole of life aboard the Enterprise.

And then that was the show I wanted to watch—the 24th century OC. I mean, just because you’re in space does that mean you have to blow stuff up? Aren’t their sarcastic teenage Jews in space who have a lot of ennui and read too much and never fire weapons? Where’s that show?

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