Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Failure of the Day: As Usual: Me

I got 2 more job interviews this week. This is astonishing. I’ve been back in San Francisco for 8 months and during that time, I’ve sent out roughly 200 resumes. Up until last Wednesday, I got called back once. From last Wednesday until today, I got called 3 times.

So there’s the job in San Mateo writing blurbs for and indexing media clips. Yesterday morning I was contacted about a contract proofreading job, and yesterday afternoon I got contacted about a freelance copyediting job. I am beginning to suspect that either the job market is improving significantly or that all the editors who are better than me have already been hired.

And all this is great news obviously because my current employer is doing a bang up job of ignoring my emails asking whether or not I’m laid off. I had no work yesterday or today, and I don’t know if I’ll have work tomorrow. So, great right?

But I’m totally frazzled. I’ve got to coordinate my trip to San Mateo on Thursday, make sure the non-disclosure agreement gets faxed off to the proofreading gig and set up a time to talk to the lady this week, memorize the style guide for A! in Berkeley for the copy editing test they sent me and then edit their test chapter, and I’ve got to get my chapter together for my writers group on Wednesday because oh yeah, I still have to finish my novel. And somewhere in there I have to remember to try not to worry that at the moment, I have no income.

It’s ridiculous for me to be overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to because since I don’t seem to have a job, I’ve got loads of time to get the stuff done. Everybody else has this much stuff to do while they’re working full time, I know. But I’m kind of flipping out anyway because that is more or less my standard MO.

And so yes, I respond to good news by worrying. Again.


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