Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Failure of the Day: In case it weren't already abundantly clear, my people, they rule

Have you heard about the proxy baptisms? Our good pals, the Mormons, who, in addition to being a hideous predatory cult, had a hand in stealing the guy I went to my junior prom with, the bastards, are baptizing dead Jews without their knowledge or consent, or that of any of their still-living relatives.

The good folks at the International Jewish Conspiracy web site are all "turnabout is fair play," and so have devised a way to de-baptize Mormons and other fundamentalist Christian types. From their web site:

"The process submits the subject to a virtual bris, six years of Hebrew lessons zipped into 8.3 seconds, several heavy meals and a bar or bat mitzvah at which virtual relatives talk about the subject's acne. All told, it takes 14.2 seconds per goy, and we think we can improve on that with firewire."

So go de-baptize some goys already. But choose wisely; I've got to be in same section of heaven with some of these idiots.


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