Failure of the Day: Girly-Ass Shoes

Had what seemed like a promising job interview this afternoon (knock wood; I’m obscenely superstitious anymore). I got a pair of shoes especially for the interview. I’ve never done that before, and weirder still, the shoes themselves are deeply unlike any shoes I’ve worn for at least 15 years. They are not these exactly but they look much like them. Yes. They are seriously motherfucking girly. They have little bows on the side. The toes are very, very pointy. They are slingbacks for chrissakes.

This may not be stop-the-presses information for you, but it is for me. I am in fact waffling on my #1 axiom in life (“No part of the human foot should ever be exposed in public”). I worked in a downtown shoe store for 2 years in the mid 80s so I’ve seen too many feet as it is. They are ugly. Feet are terrible to look at. I resisted the sandals craze that has gripped the country for lo, these last several years because feet are so terrible. But the sandals! The sandals are so dang cute. And many of them, many of them are lime green. People, I say again: I’m not made of stone.

I would like very much to get the job. If I do (knock wood), I am 100% certain it will be because of the girly shoes.