Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Friday, April 18, 2003

Failure of the Day: Inter-racial marriage

OK so first, let me say up front that I think inter-racial marriage may well be the only hope for human kind. Racial deconstruction is about the best way I can think of to nuke all racial division and hatred while still preserving all the cultural coolness.

And second, let me say that it is still a matter of some debate as to whether I myself am a part of an inter-racial marriage. Are Jews a race? Or just members of a religion? Honestly, I haven't the slightest idea. I know the arguments for both ways of looking at it, and the reason I haven't decided which one to personally believe is that I can't be bothered to give a shit about it.

That said, we're going to Chris's sister's house for Easter on Sunday. No one in his family is the least little bit religious, but his nephew is 4, and so all the brightly colored holiday stuff must be paid attention to because it keeps him busy and having fun. I myself do not know the ingredients of a happy childhood, but it seems like paying attention to all the candy and mess-making holidays is a damn fine way to start, so I'm all for it.

And it's not like the little get-together at Lisa's house will be about anything other than that. Sure, it's one of the Christian high holy days or whatever, and a fairly happy one I guess, unlike the week+ of events preceding it, which strike me as maudlin and kind of icky. And I'm still not entirely clear what the deal with the palm fronds is. And then it all somehow gets summarized into eggs and bunnies? Jews are weird, but at least there's nothing in our religion that makes people dress up like 6 foot tall rodents.

But I'll say this: eggs and bunnies beat the crap out of the fuckin' seder. A 4 hour dinner, (and let's be honest: not a very tasty one) after which you run around looking for the afikomen (a hidden piece of matzo). And where do kids even find it anymore? It was always, ALWAYS in a LP record jacket—where else can you put a brittle and crumbly square foot of cracker? And nobody has LPs anymore.

But I'm really making a big to-do about nothing. It's not like his parents will say "Happy Easter Chris! Too bad your wife's people killed the savior! Have some ham!" But I can't help it, it's a teensy bit weird for me. Doing an Easter thing makes me want to have a smidgen of Passover this year. If only because with only Chris and a 4 year old to compete against, I could totally find the afikomen this year.


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