Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Failure of the Day: March Sadness: While You Were Gone Pt. 2

This morning I woke up and it immediately struck me that today would be a perfect day for a party! I quickly called the first couple hundred people whose phone numbers popped into my head and pretty soon, this little apartment was swingin’!

After not too long my old friend from Hebrew school, Blaise Adonai, shouted Limbo! and the limbo contest was on! But wait! What would we use as our limbo stick? I looked everywhere for something suitable until finally I saw it glowing in the bedroom like an apparition! The Lego Darth Vader! It was perfect! I grabbed it and made my way through the teeming mass of revelers to the spot where we chose for the Limbo contest—right next to the open window. We figured it was a warm day and we would all need the breeze.

Well, it's not like anyone could have foreseen what happened next. Blaise was a little tipsy, and as I limboed under the LDV, it slipped from Blaise's fingers and onto the floor! It broke into 6 pieces. I didn't want to leave it all busted up like that, so I took some guacamole and used it to glue the LDV chunks back together. Worked like a charm!

Unfortunately, Blaise dropped it again and the guac hadn't dried all the way yet. I had to glue it back together again! This time I used French onion dip and the pieces snapped right back in place and stayed put! I banged it a few times against the VCR just to make sure. The limbo resumed and everyone was delighted with the now decidedly more festive LDV—the green and white chunks make him look a lot friendlier!

Just as it was Blaise's turn to see how low he could go, his brother, Pietro Adonai, stubbed his toe on the pile of comic books we were using as a lazy susan and took a header right into my arm. The LDV went flying right out the open window! Who could have known that would happen? We watched helplessly as the LDV hit the ground. But the guacamole had dried and the French onion dip reinforced the hold! The LDV was fine! Still in one piece!

Just then, though, a wild boar, no doubt attracted to the delicious smell of the LDV, emerged from the bushes, picked up the LDV between his huge tusks, and disappeared into the woods. Luckily, Chris doesn't really care what happens to his stuff. Wow! that sure was a fun party!


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