Failure of the Day: If Only they Had Called It “Fast”
For the last six or so months there’s been an odd little restaurant on the corner of 23rd and Clement. It looks sort of fake—it’s weird and plastic and orange, and it’s called Quickly. The first time we saw it, we laughed and laughed. I said we could never, ever go there because in my opinion, restaurant names should be more than just an adverb.
We walked past the Quickly several times over the months and never once saw a customer. I have a standard assumption for several never-patronized businesses in my neighborhood that they are “mob fronts” even though I’ve no idea what that means or entails; it just is what pops in my head and I’m going with it.
About a month ago all the windows and door of the Quickly were papered over, but the sign said they would be back on July 9, like they were just on vacation or something. I can understand that; not serving all that good Quickly chow is tiring work; After a few months of not serving it, I too would need a break. But the 9th came and went the Quickly stayed papered shut. Last week, the sign changed and said they’d re-open the 19th. But it’s the 21st and they’re still closed.
When I got home from work today, there was a very glossy 5 x 7 postcard shoved into the handle of the front gate of our building. Usually, I don’t even look at the things shoved or rubber banded or otherwise attached to my house because I don’t trust restaurants that advertise that way. But I picked up the postcard because it looked like it might have one of those funny inscrutable puffy creatures on it somewhere that seem to be all the anime rage these days. And where there’s a funny inscrutable puffy creature, there’s always very very badly translated text (“We are enjoying our pleasant with vigor!”) and it’s not like that ever stops being funny.
But lo and behold it was an ad for the Quickly’s grand opening special. The Quickly wants me to know that I can get Bubble Milk Green for $0.59 and baby chicken wings for $2.99. Wait…did you say baby chicken wings? How can I resist that? But I thought baby chickens were, you know, eggs. Which don’t have wings. Wait. They don’t, right? So you see, the Quickly enigma continues.
For the last six or so months there’s been an odd little restaurant on the corner of 23rd and Clement. It looks sort of fake—it’s weird and plastic and orange, and it’s called Quickly. The first time we saw it, we laughed and laughed. I said we could never, ever go there because in my opinion, restaurant names should be more than just an adverb.
We walked past the Quickly several times over the months and never once saw a customer. I have a standard assumption for several never-patronized businesses in my neighborhood that they are “mob fronts” even though I’ve no idea what that means or entails; it just is what pops in my head and I’m going with it.
About a month ago all the windows and door of the Quickly were papered over, but the sign said they would be back on July 9, like they were just on vacation or something. I can understand that; not serving all that good Quickly chow is tiring work; After a few months of not serving it, I too would need a break. But the 9th came and went the Quickly stayed papered shut. Last week, the sign changed and said they’d re-open the 19th. But it’s the 21st and they’re still closed.
When I got home from work today, there was a very glossy 5 x 7 postcard shoved into the handle of the front gate of our building. Usually, I don’t even look at the things shoved or rubber banded or otherwise attached to my house because I don’t trust restaurants that advertise that way. But I picked up the postcard because it looked like it might have one of those funny inscrutable puffy creatures on it somewhere that seem to be all the anime rage these days. And where there’s a funny inscrutable puffy creature, there’s always very very badly translated text (“We are enjoying our pleasant with vigor!”) and it’s not like that ever stops being funny.
But lo and behold it was an ad for the Quickly’s grand opening special. The Quickly wants me to know that I can get Bubble Milk Green for $0.59 and baby chicken wings for $2.99. Wait…did you say baby chicken wings? How can I resist that? But I thought baby chickens were, you know, eggs. Which don’t have wings. Wait. They don’t, right? So you see, the Quickly enigma continues.
posted by Nancy @ 6:12 PM
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