Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Monday, October 20, 2003

Failure of the Day: Hello?

Hey, so, I think I'm OK. The first 4 days were the worst so far, and the last 4 days have been OK. I still want a cigarette (or 4000) but the uncontrollable sobbing seems to have passed. I'm not nearly as sad as I was; I feel morel like myself. I even lowered the dose on my nicotine patch from 21 to 14 mg.

Of course, part of me goes "I'm doing such a good job of not smoking, I deserve a cigarette as a reward!" I keep trying to trick Chris:

Do you love me?
Yes.
Do you love me?
Yes.
Do you love me?
Yes.
Do you love me?
Yes.
Can I have a cigarette?
No.
Damnit! You're just too wily for me!

I still can't imagine myself as a non-smoker but that seems to be OK as well because I don't so much have to imagine it…I just have to keep not smoking.

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