Hello, Failure

Of all the enemies of literature, success is the most insidious

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Failure of the Day: Stranger’s Hands

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while and Chris has to work on Saturday and it seemed like as good a time as any seeing as how my work station at the new office is about the antithesis of ergonomic and I’m feeling it in my right arm and wrist. I’m getting a massage. I’ve never had one before and I’m excited but it’s freaking me out a little too.

(Aside: Melissa, I hope it doesn’t piss you off that I didn’t go to you for this. First, I’m not sure if you are still around these days; your blog is gone. Second, I figured a stranger would be better for the first time (And that’s a conclusion I’ve come to about a number of other things but that’s a whole other story) just because I can keep a completely professional distance and I might as well just say that almost the whole reason is that I am absolutely drop-dead terrified that I will fart during the massage in which case I can run screaming from the room and never see that person again. But if you are still around, and if it turns out that I am capable maintaining some sort of decorum, we should talk about it, OK?)

I used to know a woman whose company treated all their employees to an at-your-desk massage one Friday afternoon. That’s a pretty cool thing and my pal was enjoying her free massage until the person did something wrong and hurt my friend’s neck so bad it wasn’t right for years afterward. That freaks me out a little. Especially since we’re talking about bodies here and mine is notoriously unreliable, at least historically speaking. Lately, except for my damn subtalar joint, which was way more my fault that its, it’s been doing a pretty good job of just functioning properly, which is really all I ever wanted.

So it feels a little risky to allow somebody who, however much expertise he or she might have with bodies in general, has probably never experienced the likes of me. But on the other hand, it’s sort of my way offering my body an olive branch. My body has hated me for a long time and I have hated it even longer, and maybe doing something that it will like will help mend some fences.


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