Failure of the Day: Basking in the Glow of My Own Professional Success

There's just no talking to me today. Trust me, you don't want to; I will annoy the crap out of you. I would be annoying the crap out of myself if I weren't so busy being pleased with myself.

I am the world's most successful independent businesswoman. My financial dealings are deft, my editorial skills unsurpassed. I have the happiest marriage the Earth has ever witnessed and a collection of really cute shoes.

I am the word "Triumph" made flesh.